Last week, which was the week after the week before, I wrote of my consternation regarding the meaning of the numbers on the different river gauging stations, and my even greater confusion following the explanation of them, given by the overworked and under-appreciated folks of the U.S. Army Corps Of Engineers.  The same folks who, among other acts of benevolence, provided us regional swamp drainage and the resulting certainty that the loss of imperiled habitat for endangered resident wildlife would be assured, such as that required of the fine feathered harbinger of Man’s Inhumanity To The Planet, the once ubiquitous Ivory Billed Woodpecker; AKA, “GodAmighty Bird”.

The GodAmighty Bird, was also also known as the “My God Bird” and “Lord God Bird”.   I take exception to these appellations, not because I’m the, ah, Devil’s Advocate, but because any creature  of ascribed status to that of God should not be in any danger of extinction, and yet . . .

One reason I stay put in the Deep South is because I can’t handle success, and were I ever to leave here again, I don’t think I could cope with not being on the bottom.  Another reason I choose to live here, though, goes to the very nature of what success brings, if by success what we mean is being able to take a yachting weekend, as CEO Tony Hayward chose to do, while other endangered species’ habitat was being transformed, for all time, into an ecological desert.

Hangin’ Tony

Yacht’s The Problem?

Hey, If it’s good enough for Saddam Hussein

I don’t know about y’all, but I’m

with corporate windbags, as well as politicians.  I’m for the little guy.  Here’s a shot I took, years ago, at the Rockefeller Refuge, in coastal Louisiana.  I titled this one, “There goes the neighborhood”.  It was rather amusing, at the time, as this poor Southern Leopard Frog (Rana sphenocephala) was kicked to the curb by invading hordes of Fiddler Crabs (Uca spinicarpa or longisignalis, not sure which).

Now, thanks to British Petroleum, and our inept Federal Government, there will be no more Frogs to Fiddle For Eons.

But, back to our “Gauge” information.  I see I wasn’t the only one to whom the C. Of E. made no sense.  In response, I received two fantastic emails, which I have allowed below, by our good friends, Phatwater Veterans, and able taxpayers:  John Coleman, and Jerry Litton.

Offered forthwith:

Hey KB,

I am a lawyer whose specialty is writing arcane, obfuscatory documents. I’ll be damned if I get it either.

Your worst enemy or best friend in time of need,

John Coleman

AND

I believe the 17.28 which you would add to the gage reading at Natchez will give the approximate            ABOVE          sealevel reading of the gage datum at Natchez gage. In todays reading 39.25 + 17.28 = 56.53 feet level of flowsheet above sealevel at Natchez gage providing a 56.53 feet point of relief from Natchez to Head of Passes Gage 0 (a sea level varriable due ot tidal approach and withdraw.) I believe the word       ABOVE          WAS OMMITTED AND THEREFORE THE INTERPOLATION OF DETAIL WAS SOMEWHAT ESTRANGED. This data holds true with exception to how many floats and circumstances of spped of craft, are launched in the Phatwater Challenge at which time velocity, turbidy and compression ratios are challenged to be computated with any degree of accuracy causing wave, swell and other mutlplicity circumstances that rival existing hydrological acadamy, computional and systematic retreival of fact equillibriums. Making a mess of a perfectly good flat river causing all kinds of havoc and non-complacency.

WHAT A MESS!!!!!

Jerry L. Litton

Jerry L. Litton

Litton’s Plumbing and Heating, Inc.

Thanks to you both.  May your days be sunny, and bright.

All For Now-KB